To motivate myself to achieve success in all aspects of my life I ask myself “who and what will I be this time next year?”. Maybe it’s not so bad to suppress the chemicals for a bit considering I had such a romantic view of what life is. The fact that I’m writing this is itself an example of such affectations. Other such romantics may argue existential questions such as “Is life all about achieving success and making money? Or is it just not worth all that effort?” but such is also the creed of people to scared to try, too scared to take a risk, too scared they won’t get what they want so they sabotage themselves and their aspirations before they even have a chance to materialize. They have assured themselves their expectations will not coincide with reality but by the same token they have done nothing to earn it so they adopt this bullshit proverb that they don’t want to change who they are as a person. What the fuck does that even mean? It is such a circular reasoning and the ranting isn’t getting them the things they want out of life. The fact of the matter is that in modern Western culture no one gives a shit about “who” you are but rather what you are. Forgive me to sound so cynical but if the example of women saying they want “a nice guy” but wanting quite the contrary isn’t firm proof of such a social system to those reading then I politely wish you a healthy life of being inadequate in your own eyes. The aforementioned romantic ideals are excuses people have made to limit their own achievements and I will not allow it to be my excuses.
This is a conscious change in the way I have been living life and an acknowledgment I do desperately need a change. There is the possibility I will not get what I want but at least I’ll be somewhere knowing I tried and maybe even ended up with a result just as good. You may call it cliche that I write this at the turn of the new year but I think we can all agree that one must find some kind of real hope in this world. Disregard those who bring you down and try to pry at your insecurities and realize that they hate on you because they themselves feel inadequate. If you have a set of resolutions, I dare you to achieve them and when the going gets tough-ask yourself where you want to be this time next year.
antiquated figure of speech
dialogues to humor muses
flakes of lunar crescents
to tether the tides of man,
hold it ever tightly
buried beneath the notes
effuse unto the willing
the ignorant and the woe,
weeping willows through warped windows
were meant to bring you tears
if monsters came to feast tonight
I will only feed them fears
